Let me start with a disclaimer:
I love therapy. I believe in it. I’ve cried in sessions, had breakthroughs that shifted my entire worldview, and genuinely credit it for saving me during some of my darkest years.
But here’s the truth I never thought I’d say out loud:
The thing that brought me the most peace, clarity, and joy wasn’t therapy. It was something most people think is weird, sad, or even “unhealthy.”
It was radical solitude.
And no, I don’t mean taking a break from my phone for an hour or treating myself to a solo coffee date.
I mean completely unplugging from people, responsibilities, conversations, and even self-improvement for extended periods of time — and letting myself simply exist.
The Day I Realized I Was Burnt Out on “Healing”
I was doing all the “right” things. Journaling. Meditating. Going to therapy. Reading self-help books. Drinking my greens.
And still, I felt exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, socially — just done.
One morning I sat in my car, staring at my phone, about to cancel a therapy session I couldn’t afford but felt too guilty to skip. That’s when it hit me:
What if I didn’t need more fixing?
What if I needed less… everything?
So I Did the Unthinkable…
I ghosted life.
(Not forever. Just long enough to hear myself again.)
I turned my phone off.
Said no to plans.
Stopped explaining myself.
Didn’t “optimize” my time.
Didn’t try to “process” anything.
I took long, silent walks. Sat by a window for hours. Watched the sun rise and set without documenting it.
And most terrifying of all:
I let myself be bored.
Be still.
Be alone with my mind.
People Thought I Was Losing It
Friends asked if I was okay.
Some thought I was depressed.
Others assumed I was going through a breakup.
But I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t spiraling.
I was quiet — and for once, I felt safe in that quiet.
That silence wasn’t empty.
It was full of answers I’d been too busy to hear.
What I Found in Radical Solitude
No therapist, no book, no podcast could give me what I found during those weeks of intentional aloneness:
A reset nervous system. (Seriously, my body felt like it exhaled for the first time in years.)
A clearer mind. No more spinning thoughts. Just groundedness.
Self-trust. Not confidence that came from performing or proving, but deep inner knowing.
Peace. Not the kind you talk about in yoga class. Real, boring, beautiful peace.
But Isn’t Isolation… Dangerous?
Yes — it can be. And this isn’t a “skip therapy, just go off-grid!” kind of message.
If you’re struggling with clinical depression, trauma, or any serious mental health issue, do not isolate yourself without support.
But for me — someone who was overstimulated, not clinically unwell — radical solitude was the medicine I didn’t know I needed.
The Hardest Part? Giving Myself Permission
The world makes you feel like stillness is laziness.
That saying no is selfish.
That being alone is a sign something’s wrong.
But here’s the plot twist:
Being alone is how I finally felt whole again.
Final Thoughts (or: The Part I’d Tell My Best Friend)
If you’re constantly “healing” but still feeling empty…
If you’re tired of explaining your feelings to everyone…
If the idea of being unreachable sounds more like freedom than fear…
Try solitude.
Not for a productivity boost.
Not as a spiritual experiment.
Just because maybe — just maybe — your soul’s been trying to speak, and you’ve been too busy to hear it.
And that quiet?
It might just make you happier than therapy ever did.
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