Let’s face it: most of us have been stuck in those painfully unproductive 1:1 meetings. You show up, nod politely, maybe chat about a few work updates, and leave thinking, What was the point of that? If this feels all too familiar, you're not alone. 1:1s are supposed to be the secret sauce for building strong relationships with your manager, improving your work life, and growing in your career. But more often than not, they end up being a waste of time.
So, why are your 1:1s not working? And, more importantly, how can we fix them to make them actually worth showing up for?
1. No Purpose = Just Another Meeting
Have you ever walked into a 1:1 with no agenda, just a vague sense that you’re supposed to talk about something? It’s like you're both trying to be productive but have no clue where to start. No wonder these meetings feel like a drag.
The Fix:
Start with a purpose. You and your manager need to be crystal clear on what you're hoping to achieve during the meeting. If it’s feedback, a check-in on projects, or a conversation about career growth—own it. Bring an agenda, and encourage your manager to do the same. You wouldn’t show up to a job interview unprepared, so don’t show up to your 1:1 without a plan.
2. Action Items? Yeah, About That...
How many times have you walked out of a 1:1 with a bunch of things to do, only to realize a month later that you didn’t actually do any of them? And when you bring it up next time, it’s like Groundhog Day. Nothing ever gets done.
The Fix:
Leave every 1:1 with real, actionable items. If something’s not getting done, address it in the next meeting. No more vague "We’ll circle back on that." Put it on the agenda, track progress, and hold each other accountable. That way, you’re always moving forward—not just rehashing the same conversations.
3. The Manager Monologue (Where’s the “1” in 1:1?)
Have you ever had a 1:1 where your manager talks more than you? It’s like you’re not even there. They go on and on about the team’s performance, your tasks, and what needs to get done, without giving you the chance to speak up. It’s a conversation, not a lecture.
The Fix:
Managers, listen up: the best 1:1s are two-way streets. Your job isn’t just to tell someone what to do; it’s to listen to their thoughts, feedback, and struggles. Employees, don’t be shy—this is your time to shine. Speak up about what’s working, what’s not, and how you can improve. Create space for real dialogue, not just one person’s agenda.
4. Are We Even Human Here?
If every 1:1 feels like you’re just discussing spreadsheets, timelines, and deadlines, it’s no wonder it feels like a snooze fest. Your manager might be great at their job, but do they know you? Like, as a person, not just an employee?
The Fix:
Get personal. Don’t just talk about work. Ask about their weekend plans, or how they’re managing stress. Have a real conversation about life outside of the office. Building a human connection strengthens the working relationship and makes the 1:1 feel less transactional and more meaningful.
5. Coaching? What’s That?
1:1s are prime time for mentorship and coaching. It’s the one-on-one moment to get feedback, talk about growth, and level up your career. But far too often, managers skip this and focus entirely on immediate tasks.
The Fix:
Flip the script. Don’t just talk about the “now.” Ask questions like: "Where do you want to be in six months?" or “What skills do you want to develop?” Managers should offer actionable advice, guidance, and support to help employees grow. If it’s all about today’s to-do list and not tomorrow’s potential, you’re doing it wrong.
6. More Meetings, More Problems?
Some teams have 1:1s every week, leaving you feeling like you spend more time in meetings than actually doing work. Others go months without checking in. Either way, both extremes suck.
The Fix:
Strike a balance. Monthly or bi-weekly 1:1s are often the sweet spot. You want regular check-ins, but you don’t want to feel like you’re chained to a calendar. Adjust the frequency based on what works for your workflow, but don’t make them an unnecessary burden.
7. It’s Not Safe to Speak Up
Psychological safety is a buzzword for a reason—it’s vital. If you feel like you can’t speak openly in your 1:1, then you’re never going to get the real value out of the meeting. Fear of judgment or retribution? That’s a huge barrier to effective communication.
The Fix:
Create a space where feedback flows freely. If employees feel safe to talk openly about challenges, feedback, and even personal stuff, that’s when the real magic happens. Managers: don’t just say you’re open to feedback—show it. And employees: speak up, even if it’s uncomfortable.
8. Career Development Is More Than Just a Buzzword
If you’ve ever walked out of a 1:1 feeling like your career trajectory isn’t moving, that’s a red flag. These meetings should be about more than just what’s going wrong today. They should be about where you’re headed tomorrow.
The Fix:
Make growth part of the conversation. Ask for constructive feedback, but also ask about your career path. What skills do you need to develop? How can your manager help you get there? Your 1:1 should be a space to actively shape your future, not just solve today's problems.
So, Why Should You Care?
Because your 1:1s don’t have to suck. In fact, they could be the most powerful part of your work life. But only if you’re both invested in making them productive, human, and forward-thinking. Managers and employees alike need to ditch the checklist, embrace real conversations, and focus on growth.
The result? A stronger relationship, more meaningful work, and real professional growth.
So next time you walk into a 1:1, don’t just go through the motions. Flip the script. Make it count.
Subscribe by Email
Follow Updates Articles from This Blog via Email
No Comments